Two Matches

TWO MATCHES Notes. Written down so I keep them straight. Not for anyone. ———————————————— Got two matches coming up. First one is Rancid. The week after that is the kid. Nkosi. The contender match. New Wave shot if I get through them both. I am writing this down because keeping both matches in my head at the same time will produce the wrong answer for one of them, so I want to think about each one separately and on paper. ———————————————— RANCID Rancid is what he is. I have seen him work since he was crawling around the lower midwest fighting in barns. He has not changed. He is not going to change in seven days. He is going to walk into the cage with whatever he found on the way to the building and he is going to use all of it on me. I know what I am walking into. I have been here before. Different name across the cage, same situation. The rules of my work are the same as they have always been. - Nothing aimed at the face with a weapon. I do not work that way. Not against him. Not against anybody. - Nothing aimed at the throat with a weapon. Same reason. - Nothing after the bell past a reasonable count. The bell is the bell. - Nothing pulled in on an innocent. There will not be one in this cage. There never is. That is what I do. That is what I have done for fifteen years. What Rancid does is not what I do. I want to be clear about this with myself. Just because his work is different from mine does not mean I match it. It means I do mine. If he goes somewhere I do not go, he goes there alone. I have learned that lesson. I learned it once. I do not need to learn it again. The Crucible favors me here. Lower two-thirds, no rope breaks. The cage wall does not give him a way out of holds the way ropes used to. The corners are different from what he came up in. The door locks. None of this is unfamiliar to him by now — he has worked in this building too — but it is not a barn in Missouri. The room takes some of his options off the table. He will bring something. Always does. I do not need to know what. I will read it when he carries it down the ramp. Termination of the match: The Warzone. Or whatever opens up before that. I am not married to it. I am married to ending the match. ———————————————— THE KID This one is harder. The federation announced it on broadcast. Dlamini, two weeks from tonight. The first New Wave contender match. If I get through Rancid first, which the calendar requires. The kid is twenty-four years old. The kid has lost twice already in this federation, both publicly, both with him still talking afterward like the federation made the mistake. I do not have an opinion about whether he is wrong about that. I have an opinion about whether he is innocent. I want to say something on this for the record, even though the record is just me reading it later. The kid is not innocent. Innocent is a word with a meaning. The kid is twenty-four years old, professional, in this work by choice, with a documented record and a written statement on the federation's site characterising himself as the most prepared man in any room he walks into. He came to fight. He came to take a championship. He has been told who is in his way. I am in his way. I am going to give the kid the match he came here to have. I am not going to soften the work. I am not going to pull on what I do because he is younger. Younger does not mean less capable in this work. The kid produces high-altitude offence. The kid throws his body at the canvas from heights I have not climbed to in a decade. The kid is, by his own framing, a man who walks into rooms and finds out what the rooms are. He is going to find out what this room is. But there are some things I do not do, and the kid is going to get the version of me that respects them. No weaponized face. No weaponized throat. The bell is the bell. Inside those rules — everything I have. He is a fighter. I am a fighter. The cage decides the rest. I want to write down one further thing about the kid. I do not want to hurt him in a way he carries forward. This is not because he is twenty-four. This is because of work I have already done that I do not write about, and that produced the rules I have just listed for myself. The work I did is in me. It is what made me write the rules. I am not going to do that work again. I am going to do my work, and the kid is going to either survive it or the cage is going to settle the matter. I think the cage is going to settle the matter. ———————————————— GENERAL NOTES The body has reported. Right hand, joint in the second knuckle is registering after the Cortez match — small thing, not affecting grip. Left shoulder fine. Hips fine. Sleep adequate. I am going to the gym tomorrow at five. Working bag, kendo stick drills, two hours mat. Same as every Wednesday. I have not heard from Bríd. I did not expect to hear from Bríd. I have been told she was in the building last week and did not work the show. I would like to talk to her at some point about a matter I have on my mind. Not yet. Not until the matches are done. Bell rings, I go to work. That is what I do. — C. B.